Dear Apartment 6....

I live in a 12 unit 3 story apartment building and I detest the girls the live across from me.  This is a letter I want to send them when I finally move.Or Maybe its making me feel better just to vent... either or... here ya go.

Dear Apartment 6,

I have finally moved and am now free from the worst neighbors I’ve ever had. Bet you can’t guess who that is! (In case you don’t understand sarcasm, that’s you two) Now that I am free of you and far away I can give you a few tips.  

First, read your lease. ALL OF IT. I’m almost positive we have the same lease. It states everything very clearly. For Example, not moving in or our after 9 pm and being peaceful to your neighbors. Most of the following wouldn’t have been a problem had you read your lease and abide by it. Or maybe you did read it and think that you are above it and the rules don’t apply to you and you can do whatever you want. Well you aren’t any better than the rest of us.

Learn the difference between an outside voice and an indoor voice. When I can sit in my apartment with my TV on and can hear your conversations about your old roommate from Malone or whatever else you are talking to loud. Maybe whomever you are speaking to is hard of hearing, that’s fine, maybe you should get closer to them so I don’t have to hear your entire conversation.

The above tip also goes for the stairways. I don’t really care if something strange is going on at Red Lobster or whatever shitty job you work. Once again, if whomever you are speaking to is hard of hearing maybe you should wait until you are inside as to not disturb neighbors.

Just because you want a dog doesn’t mean the rest of us have to suffer.  I am not the only person in the building that complained. The lady that lives below you, who by the way is a sex offender, bitched as well. No one wants to hear a dog bark for hours on end. It’s rude to your neighbors and cruel to the animal. Leaving a special needs dog in a cage for hours on end is inhumane and made me sick, you were selfish for having a dog in a tiny one-bedroom apartment.  Oh and telling me I’m not a dog person was ignorant, I grew up on a farm with plenty of animals, especially dogs and the only reason I don’t have a dog now is because dogs need room and a tiny ass one bedroom apartment doesn’t cut it, and I would love my dog to much to do something so shitty to it. You having to get rid of the dog was not my fault, it was yours. You made a bad choice and to deal with the consequences, don’t blame me for your mistake.

You park like lazy idiots. Get off your ass and move your car. I’m sure your parents treated you like princesses but you are sort of grown up now so follow the rules like the rest of us and only use one spot. Parking half way behind each other but enough so you take up two spaces so you can shimmy your car out and around is, once again, selfish.  And YES one of you almost hit my car because I WATCHED you almost do it, your dopey boyfriend looked up and saw me watching your dumbass try to maneuver out.

I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice. Living on your own, having a job, and going to college and working do not make you an adult. Your behavior is what makes you an adult, and from what I’ve witnessed and dealt with you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.  All I’ve seen from you is childishness (coming up the stairs calling me a fucking bitch like you are 14 years old, talking shit in your apartment so I can hear you), selfishness (adopting a pet you are unable to properly care for), and disrespectful (being loud in the stairwells, parking, etc.). Grow up; the world doesn’t revolve around you.

I’m sure the two of you talk shit about me all the time, she’s fat, she never has people over, she doesn’t have a boy friend, and she’s a bitch. Yep all those things are true, I’m fat, I work a full time office job where I bust my ass all day and then go to school all night and then study my ass off in my free time when I’m not having to listen to incessant dog barking and rude little girl neighbors. So talk all the shit you want about me, but at least I'm not shitty neighbor.